Operation superfruit
Our assignment was to write a narrative based on the photo shown here...
“Agent XX-13 to Mission Control – do you copy?”
“Agent 13, go ahead.” “ Request permission to talk directly to the Commanding Officer of Operation Superfruit.” “ This is highly irregular, Agent 13! Justification?” “ I request that Operation Superfruit be aborted immediately. I am not in a position to carry it out.” “ Agent 13, pull yourself together. It is a simple assignment. You have been thoroughly trained at very considerable expense. Refusing to carry out your instructions is a clear case of insubordination. There will be dire consequences.” “ There will be worse consequences if we insist on continuing the mission under current circumstances!” “ Agent 13, this is Captain Vader, Commanding Officer. Report immediately.” “ Captain, Sir, with all due respect, I have no effective support for this operation. It is time to conserve assets, fall back and regroup.” “ What do you mean no support? We had assigned our most sophisticated technological assets to you and given you absolute control to call in resources as needed. Agent 13, this is a critical mission and our planet is relying on you to carry it out.” “ I understand, Sir, but if we don’t abort at once, any future chance of establishing supremacy over this region of Planet Earth, what they call Silicon Valley, will be in jeopardy.” “ Agent, DETAILS, now!” “ Sir, my instructions are to penetrate Apple’s HQ and coerce their Board of Directors to quadruple iPhone production and make it all available to us. Sounds simple. Except that I was landed on the surface here in my native configuration, |
measuring 14 feet tall and weighing 2.4 tons, so I couldn’t possibly fit in through any of the gates, doors, or other openings of Apple’s buildings. I couldn’t possibly approach the Board like that, so I called in to access our MRU…”
“ Get to the point, Agent 13!” “ The Molecular Reconfiguration Unit either malfunctions, Sir, or the jokers operating it do not know what they are doing. I told them to downsize me, and they did. But I came out of the process measuring 3 mm tall and weighing 4.5 grams. You needed a microscope to see me at all! So I ordered another run, this time to blow me up bigger, and the result is not much better. I am now a little over a foot high and I weigh 4 lb 7 oz. Coercing a roomful of executives is rather an uphill battle in my current condition. Even hypnotizing a roomful of Directors is simply impossible under the circumstances as my eyesight is limited to a distance of 7 or 8 feet. I cannot see or focus on anything further than that. And I even run the danger of being stepped on and crushed by pedestrians in this city…” “ Agent 13, enter the MRU once again.” “ No, Sir – respectfully. Not until a new generation of the equipment becomes available. Or a new generation of tech’s running it…” “ Agent, we need those iPhones! You are dangerously close to treason. Do you understand?” “ Yes, Sir, I do. But I am no position to deliver. Inadequate support. And I am ready to report to the Supreme Commander!” “ Agent, are you threatening me? Anyway, how do you propose to do that?” “ With my iPhone, Sir.” “ You got one ?!?!? How?” “ I slipped it out of the pocket of an Earthling, Sir, traveling on the cable car. The only thing my present size is optimal for… Over and out.” |